I have male and female friends that are actively trying to leave relationships but truly don’t know how. I know men and women that won’t leave because there are kids involved. I know wives that won’t leave their husbands because they are dependent upon them. I know men that have been with a woman so long, that they just don’t want to put in the effort with someone new, but they are extremely miserable. I know men AND women that don’t believe someone else will date them with kids<<<<< this one is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard by the way. Again, my blog is not me telling anyone what to do, it’s only what I’ve done and what I realized. I hope it inspires someone to look deep with in themselves and figure out they’re capable of anything and know their “WORTH” is ten times more important than their “PRIDE”
Ultimately we’re afraid of the unknown, but is being afraid worth being miserable? For me, having a peace of mind was all that I wanted. When I realized how broken I was and how I wasn’t myself anymore, I knew that I had to do what was best for me. My mom and dad raised me to be very strong, but leaving my marriage was not an easy decision.
~ The things I thought about when deciding to leave~
- Have I done everything I can to make this work?
- Yes, I did. I wanted to do counseling, I wanted to try to look past everything, I wanted to provide a clean slate and make it work.
- Will my parents be mad at me that this marriage they just spent so much money on didn’t work out?
- I hated that this even crossed my mind because I know my parents. They would never want me to be miserable, regardless of how long something lasted or how much money was spent.
- Am I allowing all of his exes to win, knowing the marriage didn’t work and I fought so hard for him to be mine?
- My childish mind was still so worried about how someone would think of me if I decided to let him go. All of the “Girl, I told you so’s.”
- Can I honestly survive without him?
- I didn’t have to pay all of the bills, so moving alone seemed so out of reach, but I was ready to go. I saved up my money, found me an apartment and I moved out. The best decision I’ve ever could’ve made.
How do I start over?
- Starting over isn’t the hard part. Learning yourself again is the hard part. 24 year old me, is completely different than 27 year old me. I had to figure out what made me happy. I hung out with friends, I read books, and I spent time with my family.
Words from me:
No matter if you’re male or female, keep your head up. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. There’s always two sides to every story. I advise you to never allow another person to dictate how you feel about your life. Family and friends will make you question yourself, and if your decision is selfish or impulsive. If they love you and care about you, they will stick by you through any decision you choose and will not throw it in your face. You will lose people along the way, but that’s OK. Losing people is a part of your growth. We are only given one life, so live it how you please. If you feel yourself becoming depressed, turning to drugs, shutting people out, or suicidal because you are in something that you feel you can’t get out of…..Take a minute to breathe, realize you have a purpose and think of ways to remove yourself from something so negative.
Your faith that your situation will get better is all that you have. Your faith is all that you will have once you leave the situation. Your faith will never leave you. You need to have faith that your life does not end when you leave a negative situation.
I now have faith tattooed on my side, it’s truly kept me sane.