Dear Diary:: Oh Deshaun..

Have you ever met someone and the chemistry was like… Alchemy- (a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination.) There is absolutely no way I would have ever thought that you can vibe with someone on such a level. I meaaan the feeling is so fragile that you’re afraid to f*ck it up.

Oh..Deshaun… We can just listen to music and vibe and it’s one of the most serene feelings ever. We can be lame and play connect four or I can tap that ass in speed and I’m like damn… this is dope. I haven’t laughed so much in so long and it’s such a great feeling to have.

I listen to everything you say, how you say it, and the faces you make when you say it lol. I know you like to feel appreciated..I know you have a big heart and I know you want to be the best dad you can be. I know you want to be seen for what you can do and continue to excel in your career. You’ve made it very clear that a relationship is furthest from your mind, and I can respect that. But as your friend…I can truly say that I see you and if no one else says it..I am proud of you.

The experience you’ve recently given me is one that can’t be explained. It’s one that only you and I understand. I have lost knowing what it should be feel like for a man to make you feel like a queen. I lost knowing the standard I should have for myself as a woman. I lost the values my father instilled in me that I shouldn’t have to take care of a man. I lost the idea of what it looked like to watch a man lead in a way that makes you want to submit. I spent a weekend with you and a sense of what I need and what my standards for men should be going forward came rushing back..

I am not most beautiful girl in the world, I don’t have the most money in the world, but it doesn’t feel like that when I am around you. Your communication may be trash lmao, but your friendship is one I will never question. I’m happy to know you, happy you were brought into my life and hope that this friendship is long lasting. Thank You and I appreciate you.